STEEL PANTHER - 'Heavy Metal Rules'

A little bit of Steel Panther in your music playlist is always successful in brightening up your day and bringing a smile to your face. It’s a shame then that with a fifth album promisingly titled ‘Heavy Metal Rules,’ the succeeding songs do not however, rule.

For a band that is famous for and relies so heavily on their usual comical, cleverly put together lyrics, this album lacks in that department. The witty lyrics have instead been swapped out for juvenile and childish lines that fail to fit or make sense to the subject of the song at all. The bands favourite lyric seems to be ‘suck my dick,’ appearing multiple times throughout the album in the strangest of places, more commonly on their latest single, ‘Fuck Everybody.’

One thing the album does stay true to is Satchel’s trademark heavy riffs and blistering shredding solos. The sleazy chugging intro to ‘I’m Not Your Bitch’ is promising, and the slow heavy verses to the title track exhibit a build up to a chorus you’re expecting to deliver, but disappoints with a slow, unexciting climax.

It’s challenging to imagine a crowd of thousands of people singing in unison to most of these tracks, bar the album’s first single ‘All I Wanna Do Is Fuck (Myself Tonight,’) which will still fall short in comparison to previous Panther favourites.

Michael Starr’s voice however is showing no signs of giving up on the symbolic falsetto that made glam rock famous, the bands musicality and talent still being blindingly virtuosic. Slapstick and gag jokes taken into account, the supposedly ‘Gods of Pussy’ will not be bringing heavy metal back with this album.




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Jazmin L'Amy has asserted her right under the copyright, designs and patents act, 1988, to be identified as the author of this work.


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